[Side story] Both arm scales (12)
“Lortel.”
I felt like I sat quietly and waited for about 10 minutes.
Lortel, who was lying wrapped in a blanket on the other side of the bed, would occasionally twitch his body like a live fish that had just been caught.
Every time I look back on a memory, my body twists as if someone has touched an electrode, and I close my eyes tightly because I can’t imagine what that would feel like.
“A glass of cold water… I’ll bring you more… ”
I had already gulped down all the cold water I had brought earlier. I, too, am in a position where I can’t help but feel thirsty.
In the end, I had no choice but to pick up the teapot and head back to the first floor lobby.
“I… Those clothes I just mentioned… ”
“… yes?”
“It’s a little late, but could you prepare some women’s clothes of the appropriate size…?” . “I will pay the price.”
When I said that to the inn staff, the staff member, who had been staring into space for a moment, suddenly nodded.
What on earth is going on in that room that Lortel and I share, to the point where our good clothes are torn to the point of being unusable and in need of new ones?
As a young female employee, it is a situation where all kinds of imaginations can unfold, so she cannot help but feel embarrassed.
“that… Then in moderation… I will prepare clothes that are similar in size to mine… ”
After a strange question-and-answer session with the staff, I returned to the room to find Lortel, who had come to his senses to some extent, sitting on the bed.
Anyone who has only seen Lortel always commanding people as a leader might burst out laughing when they see Lortel now.
Her completely matted auburn hair still retained its fiery color even in the darkness and moonlight.
However, his confident and bright eyes are always fixed on the floor, and he is clutching the blanket wrapped around his body tightly.
My red face felt like it was going to burst at any moment, so I quickly poured some cold water and handed it to her.
Lortel took a gulp of cold water with an uncharacteristic gulp, then sighed and calmed down for a moment.
And after a time gap of about 3 seconds, he cupped his face again and pushed his head against the wall.
After being cursed by Slog, he showed off all kinds of cuteness and acted cute in Los Tailor’s territory. He smiled innocently and nuzzled Lucy’s face, or he followed Jenika by her collar and gave her a look of respect.
I can also see him making short noises and begging me to pat his head… He must have even remembered that I had seen all of Lortel’s secret notes…
You might feel like biting your tongue right now.
“is it so… . Slog Keldlux… ”
After arguing for another 30 minutes, Lortel, who was finally able to speak in an adult tone, nodded.
I explained everything that happened while Lortel was incapacitated.
Slog The entire story of what Keldlux had done, without exception.
Now, the only person who can control the large Elte Company is Lortel Kecheln.
Behind them are the Duke of Rosstaylor, and even the Cloel Imperial Family and Saint Cloeron.
He has become a person of power at the bottom of this commercial city, a weight class that can be considered as such.
Nevertheless, Lortel Kecheln did not look happy or relieved. She wrapped herself in the blanket and just lowered her head with a confused look on her face for a moment.
“… ”
“You’re not happy as expected.”
“now… I can’t organize my emotions well… I’m not the type of person who can’t sort out my emotions in a slow manner, but I wonder if the effects of the curse are still there… ”
Lortel held the blanket tightly and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
Unlike the way he always wears expensive clothes and accessories, he doesn’t look like he’s wearing any clothes.
A person before being a merchant.
When you put down what you wear, it becomes clear that even Lortel, who is said to be the devil who sold his soul for gold, is just a human being like everyone else.
“… “I think your feelings will be complicated.”
“well. Actually, it’s not a situation that needs to be that complicated. Just um… ”
Only then did Lortel seem to have regained some of her original appearance. He smiles awkwardly.
“I was wondering if I could stimulate my senior’s protective instinct if I hesitate and show myself weak like this.”
He flashes a sinister smile and acts like a fox like always.
At that sight, you might give a hollow smile, but…
I didn’t do that.
“… ”
“… “Would it have been a bit remiss to think that it could be glossed over in this way?”
“When things are hard, it’s better to just say it’s hard. From experience.”
In fact, if you think about Lortel’s life, it is not something that can be talked about so easily.
This city is full of beasts that are eager to discover Lortel’s weaknesses. Showing weakness in such a place is nothing more than an act of self-destruction.
That’s why it became a habit for Lortel to hide his weaknesses.
Even when she is confused, embarrassed, and wants to wander, she acts like a sly fox to others, and it is not difficult to imagine what her life must have been like.
“Rather than being difficult… well… “I’m just afraid.”
Covered in a blanket on the bed, she looks at her white feet sticking out between the blankets.
If you look up at the starlight softly streaming in through the window, you will see the moon hanging at the end of your eyelashes.
There is only me in front of my eyes.
Since they have already seen each other, Lortel reveals his weaknesses without hesitation.
“As I struggle to survive in this old deck, it feels like I’m walking through fog. “Of course I don’t know where this is, and I can’t even tell the difference between a friend and a friend, so I have to be wary of every pretender I hear.”
Then, when he lowers his head, he looks like a piece of glasswork that looks like it’s about to break at any moment.
“If you walk around swinging your weapon at everyone like that, you will often cut off the heads of people who could have been your people. “There is no exception just because it is a slog.”
“… ”
“It happened quite often. “Until I met you.”
The emotion I saw on Slog’s face as he closed his eyes and was bleeding was ‘Dalgwan’.
No matter what happens, Lortel will never trust Slog.
She is a girl who has endured her entire life in a city where betrayal and trickery are the norm. Slog also understood that fact so clearly that it made his bones tingle.
“It’s so stupid. “It’s like you’re pushing everything away with your own hands, and in the end, you’re being eaten away by loneliness.”
It is rare to see Lortel mocking himself. Because he is a person who has to show an unwavering appearance anytime and anywhere.
“Still, I couldn’t help it. Because she had to survive.”
It wouldn’t have been the first slog.
As Lortel walked down the path covered with gold coins, he eliminated the possibility of countless people who might have become true companions or friends with whom he could sincerely communicate.
And most likely, that is not a story that only applies to Lortel.
That might be natural in this city of merchants.
One wrong decision causes blood to spill. The world of commerce is like that.
“In this city, no matter what you do, you can’t escape loneliness and taxes.”
He hugs his knees and talks like a joke.
I raise the corners of my mouth with a smile, but the empty aftertaste is filled with bitterness.
It’s night. It was far away when the sun rose.
This long, long darkness would feel even longer to Lortel today.
I have traveled along the road, losing many people, but I never get used to the sense of loss and loneliness. Human beings are like that.
Therefore, Lortel buries his head in his lap. How many more people like Slog will have to live in the future? I don’t know who she is now.
“Seniors.”
I could feel it just by that short name calling me.
Lortel, who has laid down a lot of things, has the power to convey emotions with just a weak breath at the end of a sentence.
This is different from the way he looks at others slyly like a fox and occasionally smiles like a goofball.
Lortel’s expression is not visible as he is burying his head. Only the hair flowing between the nape of the neck falls down without any force.
There is a big difference between Lortel before and now. Now, the fact is that there is someone by your side.
“Can you give me a hug just once?”
It was a faint voice, like the fading light of a lighthouse.
When it comes to myself, I consciously raise my eyebrows. However, you can read the subtle tension at the end of the subdued voice.
I feel a sense of danger, as if at any moment I will burst out laughing and say it’s a joke and that I was making fun of him.
But even after 1 second or 5 seconds… Lortel does not run away through the escape route called ‘joke’.
However, he is just quietly burying his head in gentle silence.
For the chronic disease called loneliness that has followed me persistently throughout my life, there is a more effective cure than I thought.
It feels like someone is by your side.
The assurance that I no longer have to spend the long, dark nights lying alone, alone.
Perhaps, this is what Lortel is most yearning for now.
The presence of someone you can emotionally rely on is something you find when you are in the most difficult times.
so that… We cannot take lightly the fact that Lortel does not dismiss the end of her words as a joke.
“… .”
The precarious appearance is like a candle that seems ready to go out at any moment.
If you say you’re sorry but you can’t do that and ask if you can leave the room and leave Lortel behind…
I can’t help but ask myself, “Is that possible?”
However, there is a part of my heart that is holding on to the end… . After all, it’s Yenika.
He wrapped his arms around Yenika’s shoulders and even said something romantic (which makes me grit my teeth now that I think about it) that we would be quite happy…
Here, embracing Lortel’s shoulders… . Isn’t it absolute trash itself?
… Are you prepared to become trash?
Suddenly, the meaningful expression that Merylda had whispered in my ear with a playful expression penetrated deep into my heart.
If you are not prepared to become trash, you must be prepared to go the opposite route.
I shook my head at Lortel, who was in danger of collapsing at any moment, and prepared to quietly leave the room.
Leaving Lortel alone in this dark inn room, he quietly blends in with the crowd of people on the night street.
… . It’s not that easy.
I feel like I’m being strangled by an external force. It’s as if someone is holding a blade to your throat and asking. It’s a situation where you have to make one of two decisions.
My head spins and my thoughts accelerate.
At this point, the very fact of ‘worrying about it’ may be hurtful to the other person.
So, the time I am allowed to worry about is about 2 to 3 seconds at most.
All conclusions have to be drawn in that very slight moment of startling and trembling. In a situation so extreme that it seemed unreasonable, I held my breath and looked toward Lortel.
The nape of my neck is bright red.
The color behind my ears has also risen a lot, and it looks like it’s about to explode at any moment. The good news is that the other side was so distracted that they didn’t have time to check my reaction.
When I see that, my composure comes back little by little.
Yes, my way of thinking was wrong from the beginning.
The important thing is not whether I become trash or not.
In the face of Lortel, who mustered up all the courage she had, it was not polite of her to worry about an answer with such self-satisfying thoughts.
The point is, in the end, what do I think?
Isn’t it right to think carefully about whether I am really conscious of Lortel as a member of the opposite sex, rather than about things like respect or morals?
Anyone in the world can see that Lortel is a good woman.
This is not just about good looks or great economic power.
He has deep insight and an open mind. However, there is also a precarious part of it that feels like it could collapse at any moment if it is not supported by its side. He acts like an infinitely selfish person, but once he is convinced that he is his person, he gives everything, including his liver and gallbladder, which is attractive.
In any case, he is a reliable person to have by your side.
I have to admit it.
I think a woman named Lortel is a very attractive person. I can’t deny that.
The life of having to struggle every day to survive is over.
As I take a step back from my stable daily life and look at the favor she offers, I once again realize how heavy her sincerity is.
I was the one who always took a step back. Nevertheless, I think back on Lortel’s single-minded support for me.
I first met her in Sylvania, and we went through all kinds of hardships together.
There were several times when my life could have been in danger, but she always helped me consistently. And she always walked after me, showing me her favor without hesitation.
After organizing my thoughts up to this point, I have come to a clear conclusion.
I can never abandon Lortel.
“… .”
I swept my face up as if washing my face, then pushed my bangs up and took a deep breath.
Then he got up from his seat and went to the window.
– Shoot, shoot.
The sound of the waves and gentle breeze of the night sea calms the mind and body.
I quietly looked at the night view outside the window for a while, then quietly called Lortel’s name.
“Lortel,”
“Keuhi!”
“… ”
Perhaps because he was holding his breath, Lortel shook his shoulders and made a strange sound. I only called his name once, but his reaction was as if he had been punched.
And I was so embarrassed that I even reacted that way, so I couldn’t come up with an answer right away. It’s almost pathetic when you look at it.
It seemed too cruel to ask Lortel anything more here, so I kept my mouth shut and turned around again.
Then, I slowly approached Lortel, carefully sat down next to him, and hugged his shoulders.
“Seo, senior… ”
I can hear my heart pounding.
Anyway, I wonder if I should be this nervous. However, when I listened closely, I realized that it was not my heartbeat.
“… ”
Lortel somehow took a deep breath as if he was embarrassed by the pounding sound, but unfortunately, the sound did not stop.
It is quite possible. I gently cupped Lortel’s chin, turned it toward me, and kissed his.
With the other hand, I supported Lortel’s lower back and slowly pushed the center of gravity toward the bed.
Lortel, who was being led by my hand as if possessed by a ghost, looks up at me from the soft blanket.
“Relax your hands.”
As I said that, Lortel seemed to realize that he was holding my forearm tightly.
When Lortel relaxed his grip, a handprint remained on my wrist. He clearly looks nervous.
“Eh, Senior Ed… I.. that… however… ”
“… ”
“Well… I’m asking you to do this, but… Well… what should I do… ”
If you have no experience, it’s understandable to be confused. However, it is also ridiculous to give instructions here and there to do this and that.
“Just stay still. It wasn’t my intention, but… I know roughly what I want… ”
“yes… to… hmm… yes… ?”
“… ”
Lortel has a good head.
As if he understood something just from the tone of my words, he swallowed for a moment.
“… … ”
And then I realize.
I am in a position where I have discovered all of the secret notes that Lortel usually carries around with him. It was something that could not be helped at the time. Because this was a situation that required as much information as possible.
so… It’s inevitable that you’ll find out things you didn’t want to know.
Traces of various thoughts organized on a secret page at the back just in case someone might see them. Since it is a fairly old trace, I wonder if I myself had temporarily forgotten its existence. In fact, it was more like a collection of delusions than a memo.
The girlish delusions expressed by Lortel, who has no dating experience, are bound to be somewhat embarrassing to those who do not know the situation.
This may make some people laugh out loud. But you can’t laugh at it carelessly. The dreams and romantic imaginations that girls of that age have for the opposite sex… It’s just embarrassing to say it, but isn’t it something that everyone has imagined at least once?
So, out of consideration for Lortel, I did not mention those notes. but… Now that the situation has come to this, there will be no other educational material as good as it. Above all, it is your own wish written by yourself.
… The details about the earlobes and how to sweep the back of the neck were written… Even though it was still a bit broken… .
– Boom!
Lortel suddenly stood up, pushed the bed, and swung backwards.
Then, I pressed my naked body against the back of the bed and started shaking. Only then did he finally remember what destructive details he had written in the notebook all those years ago.
“… Eh, eh, eh, senior Ed… . Uh oh how far… .”
“Don’t panic… Lortel… In this situation, it is rather a positive thing to closely share each other’s wishes and inner thoughts… ”
Choi, you should react as calmly as possible and say it’s no big deal, so the other side won’t lose their composure.
“Well.. then… then… ”
“Well, still. Lortel. Even though… . There are no conditions to prepare things like freesia-scented candles or a bath with floating roses… ”
“Gyaak!”
The sight of him swallowing his screams so awkwardly makes you wonder if this is Lortel.
It was pathetic to see him pulling the blanket and gasping for breath… Still, it looks like he is maintaining at least some sense of reason.
The sight of him gasping for breath, his face turning bright red to the limit, and his eyes wide open makes you wonder if this is the merchant who sold his soul for that gold coin.
“and… That’s right… Lortel… ”
“… ”
“I’m sorry… I.. that… Comparing a person’s beauty to a flower, or comparing the light of an eye to starlight… I’m not good at spitting out words full of such romantic metaphors… that… thing… I feel a little sorry… ”
“… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .”
in short… Those lines you wrote down as examples in your notebook are a bit difficult.
The man named Ed who exists in Lortel’s delusion seems to be quite good at saying such poignant lines, but unfortunately, the real Ed Rothtaylor does not have such a great vocabulary…
You can try, but… When I think about it, it actually seems like killing Lortel twice.
“… … … … … ”
“… … … … .Ed senior… ”
“… ”
“… … … I… ..Please kill me… .”
… I’m sorry, but it’s difficult.
This world full of storms…
Even if it’s hard, shouldn’t we survive first? .
