Episode 1724. You can’t not lose it. (4)
“Would it be okay?”
“… … .”
“No, death penalty. I know how you feel, but if you think about it calmly, isn’t Sa-suk in a situation worse than that of an ordinary person? “It wouldn’t be surprising if I passed out tomorrow.”
“… … .”
“That kind of person… … . Is it really right for someone who can’t even hold a brush properly to perform that kind of work? … .”
At that time, Yoon Jong, who had been silent, looked back at Jo Geol. Joe Geol was shocked by those somber eyes and closed his mouth.
Yoonjong chewed his lips slightly and opened his mouth.
“So, can you tell Sa-suk to quit and rest? Even though I know how you feel?”
“… … You can do it. “It’s because I don’t listen to it.”
Yoonjong sighed deeply in response to Jogeol’s complaints. It seems that Jo Geol still hasn’t realized it. What does it mean to say that Baekcheon’s time as a warrior has come to an end?
Yoonjong repeatedly tightened and released the hand holding the booklet. It seemed to show that his mind was not calming down at all. In the end, this appearance caught Jo Geol’s attention.
“By the way, death penalty.”
“why.”
“What is that thing you were holding in your hand earlier? “I think I’ve been holding it since I was in the office, but I don’t seem to really see it anymore.”
Yoonjong glances down at the booklet in his hand. An anonymous book without a title.
“… … “It was given to me by Sasuk.”
“yes? “A private residence?”
“okay.”
Yunjong’s eyes darkened infinitely. He forced his lips, which did not open easily, to part.
“It’s the volcano’s directory.”
“Eh?”
“and… … The rules of the volcano… … “There are things written down that a great disciple of Hwasan must protect.”
Jo Geol, who was silent for a moment, narrowed his eyes.
“No, how…” … ?”
“It seems like you prepared in advance before this happened. “You also wrote down what you felt and what you asked while serving as Assistant Manager Jangmun.”
At that moment, Jo Geol’s face lit up and an angry voice burst out.
“What is that… … ! Why are you giving that to the death penalty?”
“… … .”
“No, did you get the death penalty again just because you offered it? “You don’t even know what that means?”
“Walk.”
“Are you a sane person? Did you eat the nunchi in soup? The person who is working today and tomorrow handed it out to you, but you accepted it and are fiddling with it? this… … .”
“You got it because you wanted to, you bastard!”
Yoonjong refuted harshly. But Jo Geol didn’t even listen and got up straight away.
“Give it to me.”
“… … “What should I do?”
“What can I do? “You should go and throw it in Sasuk’s face!”
“… … .”
“What kind of position is Hwasan Jangmun Assistant Manager, and he lets things go as he wants like this! “Being beaten for three days and three nights is not enough.”
“Sit down.”
“execution!”
“Sit down!”
Yunjong finally burst out in anger and shouted. Jo Geol gritted his teeth and reluctantly sat back down. However, the way he folded his arms tightly showed that he still did not understand.
After sighing, Yoonjong called out to him as if admonishing him.
“Walk.”
“Isn’t it planned anyway?”
“… … .”
“Everyone knew that Sasuk would lose Muhak! “It just happened a little faster than expected.”
This was the reason why Jo Geol was angry.
“But what is this? Why does everyone look at Sasuk with such eyes? Martial arts? Is that really that big? Is Sa-suk worthless if she can’t wield her sword? “I didn’t listen to Sa-suk because she was stronger than me!”
“Be quite. “I hear it outside.”
“Damn it, if you’re going to listen, just listen! “Did I say something I couldn’t do?”
bang!
Jo Geol became enraged and hit the table next to him with his fist. The teacups fell over from the impact, and tea poured down on the floor.
Grumbling.
Yunjong, who was watching the tea flowing down the table, quietly closed his eyes.
The future that will come someday and the reality that has already come are different. No matter how much you prepare, it will never be the same.
“Anyway, I can’t admit it. Sasuk… … .”
“Walk. “It was the master’s decision.”
“execution!”
“and… … Do you really think that’s the way to go for private life? On the battlefield… … .”
“Damn it, who do you think is an idiot? “Wouldn’t it be okay if I just carried it on my back?”
“How are you feeling, Sasuk?”
At those words, Jo Geol finally closed his mouth.
“okay. Then you can take comfort and be satisfied. But what about Sasuk? In a battlefield where at least one more person is needed, a person who cannot even use martial arts properly joins under your protection? Have you ever thought about what that would mean to Sasuk?”
I couldn’t say anything. Jo Geol just kept putting strength on her hand.
Yoonjong dry-washed his dull face. A feeling of exhaustion that was difficult to put into words came over me.
“This is just… … It’s just preparation. “As you well know, Sasuk is not the type of person to let go of everything so easily.”
This is true. Because Baekcheon said the same thing when he was flipping through this book.
But both Yoon Jong and Jo Geol know. How many things are hidden behind the word preparedness.
– Actually, I think it is a little late. It should have been done a long time ago.
Remembering Baekcheon’s added words, Yoonjong clenched his fists without realizing it.
‘But Sasuk… … . It’s too fast for me.’
No matter how deeply I sighed, my mind just sank to the bottom of a distant lake without knowing the end.
* * *
Sigh.
Baekcheon stared blankly at the brush rolling on the floor. The brush had slipped out of his hand through the loosened bandage.
Baekcheon, who had been looking at his brush in confusion while the lamp flickered several times, struggled to get up.
Throbbing!
Pain as if a knife were cutting through my entire body. He stumbled for a moment, but managed to get his body together and gritted his teeth until he made a loud noise. It was to endure his pain.
Again.
The sweat that had collected on my chin dripped to the floor.
Throbbing! Throbbing!
You can know it intuitively. That this pain will not go away.
As Tang Gunak said, his body now is nothing more than a cracked vessel that was forcibly glued together. No matter how much he improves, unless the crack is completely eliminated, this pain will remain with him for the rest of his life.
I stretched out my hand, which had half of the bandage removed, with all my might.
Raise your arm and hold it out.
Such a simple movement, of which he had never been conscious, felt more difficult to Baekcheon than any other complex herbivorous food in the world.
My fingertips, which were shaking like aspen trees, finally touched the brush.
fault.
But, cruelly, the brush rolled away from him and further away.
“… … .”
Baekcheon looked at the scene in bewilderment.
‘Is it okay to not have any military education?’
It was half sincere. Because I have prepared my heart. Even if it meant losing all my martial arts skills, I promised myself over and over again not to become a useless person.
but.
“flaw… … .”
I never imagined that I would go beyond simply losing my military education and become such a waste.
dump.
Baekcheon sat down on the spot as if broken. Laughter kept coming out as if I had lost my mind.
What can we do now?
I imagined a life without being able to hold a sword. But what about a life where you can’t even hold a brush?
Are you confident that you can handle a life in which you need someone’s help just to survive? Did you really prepare for all that?
Finally, the words I didn’t want to think of came out of my mouth.
“A lump of luggage… … .”
I was prepared to die. I believed that alone was solemn.
But perhaps what Baekcheon saw easily was not death but life. He had come to believe that death was the greatest pain that could ever come to him. Naively, too.
What can we do? What to do.
Baekcheon crawled towards the brush again. The pain felt as if dozens of daggers were simultaneously stabbing my body, but this physical pain was nothing compared to the pain my mind was experiencing.
He stretched out his bare, twig-like arm and desperately grabbed the brush.
Slurp.
But it was only for a moment that the brush he had barely held slipped out of his grasp again and fell.
Without giving up, I grabbed the brush again. It was a movement weaker than that of a toddler’s hand. However, Baekcheon’s face became covered in sweat because of that helpless hand gesture.
“… … Caught.”
Still, I can’t get caught.
“Get caught… … .”
Have you always believed strongly? There is nothing that cannot be achieved with effort. There is nothing you can’t win as long as you don’t give up. Even if you fail, your will will continue. Didn’t you believe that more firmly than anyone else?
But what is here now?
Can you overcome it with effort? Is there a victory? No, more than anything, what will do we have left for this petty fight?
“Get caught, damn it!”
Toouk.
However, neither the brush nor the hand listened to him in the end.
Baekcheon lowered his gaze without saying a word. Before I knew it, the bandages and the floor were a mess of ink.
Suddenly, I felt ridiculous.
“flaw… … .”
Even though I had overcome the blood that flowed like a river on the battlefield, I never thought that I would now be so overcome with sorrow over something like this.
“Huh… … .”
Baekcheon’s shoulders trembled slightly. His bony arms, which could no longer support his body, broke and his body fell to the floor.
Baekcheon placed his cheek on the floor and looked at the brush lying on the floor.
A sword that cannot be wielded.
A brush that cannot be used.
A person who cannot do anything.
‘Is it worth it?’
If a person’s life was meant to leave something behind, his life has already ended. I don’t know if he reached it, but he delivered it anyway.
But then, what is this body left here?
Isn’t it just a shell with nothing left to tell? Shouldn’t we call it a ghost that missed the time when it should have disappeared? Is there really any value left?
smart.
It was that moment. Someone knocked on the door. Baekcheon’s eyes suddenly became filled with fear.
I don’t want to be seen.
Baekcheon is a man who has overcome his fears through his own courage while facing numerous enemies. He was so scared that he didn’t want to show off like this now.
“D-don’t come in!”
He shouted hysterically and quickly looked around.
The floor is a mess, and his appearance is, needless to say, a complete mess. It is even difficult to get up from the floor.
“Don’t open it! go back! I don’t know who it is, but now… … !”
It wasn’t an order or a warning. It was closer to a plea. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. It was so miserable and miserable.
“I told you to go back! please… … .”
Squeak.
However, without giving in to his earnest voice, he opened the closed door and a person slowly entered the room.
There was a breathtaking silence.
One person is standing and the other is crawling on the floor. Baekcheon, who checked his opponent in such a prepared situation, sneered without knowing.
If it had been someone else, I would have at least sympathized with him.
If the person standing there had been Cheongmyeong, he might have burst into tears.
Of course, even that would be miserable, but it would have been better than now.
Reality was harsher than imagined.
Baekcheon looked up with a sneer at the face as cold as ice. What made Baekcheon even more desperate was the fact that what was in that person’s eyes was not ridicule, but genuine anger.
“… … Dongryong.”
“this… … !”
Baekcheon bites his lip until it bleeds.
“you… … .”
“Do not come!”
Baekcheon lashed out at the person who came and tried to help him.
“Don’t touch my body! “Damn it, don’t touch me!”
“Dongryong!”
“I told you to fuck off, Jingeumryong! On my body! In my body… … .”
The voice that was supported by evil quiets down. I can’t say anything. I can not do anything.
All I could do was bite my lip tightly and block out my wet voice.
Jin Geum-ryong’s face, looking at Baek-cheon, soon became distorted as if he were a murderer.
“… … That sucks, you damn bastard. I told you this would happen in the end… … . “I am like that!”
“Shut up!”
Baekcheon’s eyes were bloodshot.
Although he attacked with a ferocious spirit, Jingeumryong was no longer angry. He took a deep breath and immediately looked straight at Baekcheon with determined eyes.
Baekcheon’s eyes, bloodshot with despair, and Jingeumryong’s eyes, boiling with cold anger, became intertwined for a moment. Eventually, Jingeumryong opened his mouth.
“Do you want to hold the sword again?”
“… … what?”
“I. No, we can do that.”
Baekcheon momentarily couldn’t believe his ears. What to say now… … .
“Abandon the volcano.”
Jin Geum-ryong’s firm voice felt like thunder. Baekcheon’s eyes widened.
“If you abandon the volcano and return it to its original place.”
Each and every word is engraved in my mind.
“We can give it back to you too. “Your most brilliant appearance.”
Jingeumryong stretched out his hand to Baekcheon, who had forgotten his anger and was looking at him blankly. His hands were careful.
“Let’s go to Jongnam, Dongryong. “You don’t have to suffer like this anymore.”
Baekcheon, who was looking at the golden dragon in bewilderment, closed his eyes.
This is not a temptation from the devil. But that’s why it’s more deadly, and that’s why it’s more… … It was painful.
oh…
